Ooof.... lots of emotions today. Sigh.. unfortunately poor Kelli had to be there for me... I couldn't be there for her today.
We met up at Ashland and I was a hair early so I got on Funny first. And she took Marvin for a little walk around the arenas too. Funny and I did our homework and... it was... okay. Maybe a bit better than the other day but still quick and rushy at times. And behind the vertical at times. And then we got into it once or twice. Well... not terribly but a little bit. BUT... we did get some decent work and she was good enough that I was deciding to call it quits before she escalated or got tired. I was a bit bummed because I was hoping to get Kelli's take on things but I didn't want to interrupt her ride and she had helped me with Lyric and the saddle yesterday so... I finished before she did actually. Funny was still a bit "squirty" so I walked her around the little field in front of the arenas and Kelli finished pretty quickly. Hopefully I didn't rush her.
So we went for a hack. And Kelli was sad... I was sad.... Marvin maybe was sad..or tired. Funny was an energizer bunny and carried on. ;) We were chatting and I started talking about how I was frustrated and unsure of how to carry forth... I understand that I need connection... I need contact... but I'm struggling with her going behind the vertical and I feel like I'm just pulling and creating a hard mouth. So... after some tears and frustration... which Kelli (rightfully) suggested getting Kelly or Jacel to sit on Funny to help me either come up with a plan or feel better about my frustration, we kept talking. We changed the subject because I was upset... and she knew it. And... I don't know. I just... feel like a failure. I don't understand why I can't do what others are doing... Why is my horse not happy and soft in the contact? What did I do wrong? Kelli reminded me that I'm not a professional... albeit I am a very talented amateur who has a lot of skills. Sigh.. So we kept hacking... and then as we got back to home I mentioned that I was tempted to take her into the cross country field and let her gallop. She told me to do it!
So we did. She did tell me to get a nice trot first... not asking for anything but straightness and soft contact, and then let her canter. So we did. And we had fun. We trotted back and it was nice. Then she told me to go for a second spin and do the same thing but focus ONLY on keeping her straight and sending her forward and don't worry about bend or anything else. Of course then I got a bit .... stiff?? I don't know. She got fussy but then she settled and we got a decent trot and then we cantered and then galloped and then got a pretty decent trot on the way back. It was just big!
So as we were hacking back to the arena Kelli started talking again. We got to talking about contact and basically... it helped me to be able to talk through it. I don't want to just crank her head into a space... I don't want to create a hard mouth... I don't want to be a "human side rein"... because "side reins are the devil", but... I do want a nice horse that has longitudinal suppleness. So if I think about it as just... creating confidence through connection.. holding her hand... and then softening when she softens.. that helps. And, the goal isn't to "hold her face"... But, I do probably have to go through some ugly to get the idea across. So for now... if I focus ONLY on having her be straight in her body... stay on the rails... and go forward... forward into the contact.... then we'll get to a point where she understands that she can't get away from the contact and learn to appreciate it. I have to follow her when she goes behind the vertical because if I release when she goes behind the vertical, then she learns that's an evasion/reward. But, it is also helping because as she goes behind the vertical and I widen my hands to keep the pressure, then she has started seeking the contact, and I can bring my hands together and lengthen my reins and give my elbows and she does start seeking the forward reach. I mentioned how it's so much easier in the field though because I can send her forward into the contact, whereas in the arena, she's already so runny and racy, and I'm afraid I'll run out of arena, and... it's just hard to send her into it and I get sucked into just pulling and hanging. So we talked about how perhaps I do just have to send her. But not kicking... just a soft squeeze with my calves... maybe not even a squeeze.. just a soft hug with my legs.
So... of course... I had to go back into the arena to try it out. And of course, it worked nicely! Granted... she was probably a whole lot more tired than when I started my ride... she had just galloped two laps and had gotten some "forward" out of her system. So, perhaps it won't go as well early on in my ride. BUT... I do think that it's helping. I think that both Kelly and Kelli are essentially saying the same thing, but it's nice to have it dumbed down and repeated and verified and... to talk through it so I can quit arguing with myself. So... maybe that's my plan. Get on.... do a nice long warm up hack in the woods, maybe even include a little canter or gallop... and maybe even ride in the field. I had thought about this earlier but then life got in the way. She has to balance on the terrain so that will make it a bit easier to have her carry herself vs just running. And ride for the next month just focusing soley on even connection to the bit, sending her softly forward into it, and keeping her straight between the aids. If she's quick.. that's okay. Don't let her be stupid, but if she's just quick... maybe try to fix it by slowing my post or tigthening up my core, but... don't stress it.
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