Frustrated again

 Argh... 

Lovely day with lovely weather. Took Fufu to Ashland for a hack and some dressage.

hacked for an hour... did hills... trotted some. put metal bit back in because she was literally chewing through the nathe... was happy and not chompy most of the hack.

headed back to arena..made sure to drop the cobweb whip before the arena, but still fast and runny. Rode longer than i probably should have but got annoyed. Tried to do all the homework things but still she was spazzy and quick and running. Not nearly as combative but still just not a good ride. Even spooked WAY hard when kelly eaton came down the hill from the upper arena. Tried to stay calm and not get mad but sadly I got mad a few times. tried to ride the novice test... actually much harder than the BN test... much quicker with more stuff to do, including stretchy trot. Can't decide if that's better because it gives her more to do, or worse because she can't settle into the things...not that she really settles anyways. Ran through it a few times. finally at the end of the ride I got mad enough that I just shortened the reins and took a tighter connection vs being soft, and.. maybe it was better?? I don't know. so frustrating that I can't figure this out. and mad at myself for getting frustrated and feeling rushed. 

sigh...  though I guess overall it's better than it was a few months ago... just hate that it feels not fun for either of us. I even tried cookies and good girls...