Ooof... I didn't do right by the baby girl today. I was already feeling a little emotional after my ride on Lyric... worried about her soundness. And add in hormonal... still grieving Fleck... stressed about the potential free baby horse... and just... headachy too. But Mike was in the mountains on the motorcycle and I wanted to take Funny to Ashland to run through our dressage test. I probably should have ridden at home, but... there were jumps in the arena and I figured since I had time and she could use a hack too.
My plan was to do a nice long hack first and then finish in the arena. However when I left for Ashland I realized that the skies were kind of dark and checked the radar. Oh... well darn... there was a chance of storms and even hail in the next hour. Gah... well, too late... we're already on our way and I wasn't sure if it was going to rain/storm or not. It was 55% and radar was not a definite. So... we took our chances and kept going.
We got to Ashland and the wind was whipping and the skies were rumbling and dark, but... no lightning and no rain. Yet! So... I got on and she was jumpy!! We hacked out to the cross country field and I thought that maybe I should just do a quick hack around the field and then go to the arena. That way we would be close to the trailers if the weather got bad and to be honest, I really wanted to do our dressage test run through if possible. But that wasn't the original plan... I really think she probably needed the hack before hand. But they were running the tractor in the field and she was a bit jumpy and the winds were pretty wild, so... we barely did a loop out there and she cantered up the hill instead of trotting because she was UP! But I felt like that was the better choice, so we headed to the arena. I probably should have just gone home... but I didn't. We didn't get rained on really.. just a few sprinkles and a light drizzle towards the end. And it didn't storm. Or hail. And it was nice and cool! But we were both working way harder than we should have and we were both sweaty. She was just super hot and spicy and I was hormonal and frustrated and mad. And I tried very hard to be soft and giving and patient. We did lots of circles... and if she wanted to canter, then fine... you can canter, but you can canter smaller circles and you can carry me. And she's back to doing her stop and prop and buck thing. And I don't know if it's temper tantrum... ulcers... back pain... stifle pain.... hormones? Ugh... At one point I spun her because she was blowing through me and she just went into a spin for about 15 circles. I was going to just let her spin until she softened but then it just kept going, so I finally stopped her and then we were both dizzy and our world was still spinning. Ugh...
We finally had a few good moments and even managed to get through the whole beginner novice test once without any major upheavals and a somewhat respectable and soft ride. I did have to lengthen my reins to keep her from curling too much and she was quick... too quick. And probably a little on the forehand. But... She was not combative and she responded to my aids and was not running away with me, so we called it a win and quit with that. We even halted and stayed halted! Then we took a short hack up to the jump arena but then as we got up there it started to rain actual rain.. not pouring but a nice steady rain, so we just headed back to the trailer. We were both soaking wet at this point. Of course it stopped raining pretty quickly, so I rinsed the sweat and grime off and we headed home.
I'm sorry baby girl. I cannot figure out how to ride you appropriately and feel like I'm ruining you. I don't understand how to teach you to be soft and carry yourself and I don't want to resort to forcing anything but at the same time... you're feral and running away with me and I don't know what to do. Sigh...
Hopefully tomorrow we'll at least have fun at our XC lesson. And... if I do stop and reflect... she is making progress in the arena... I think. Slightly. Like... she did get through a BN test whereas at the last show, we barely survived a starter test. And this time she's more "on the bit" and not above the contact and hollow.
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